Why Can't I Cry Even Though I'm Sad? (2024)

If you've ever felt like you were bottling up your emotions, you might have wondered, 'Why can't I cry?' Feeling like you can't cry can stem from factors including depression, personality, medications, medical conditions, trauma, and social expectations.

You might feel unable to cry even when you're sad, anxious, or in pain. Not being able to cry when you want to or feel like you should can feel confusing and distressing.

While crying can sometimes be unsettling, it can also have important emotional benefits. Research shows that crying can help you release emotions in stressful or distressing situations. It can even help you physically clean your eyes out and help you communicate feelings.

However, there are some circumstances in which people can have difficulty crying. Read on to understand why you can't cry even when you are sad and what you can do about it.

Why Can't I Cry: Possible Explanations

You might wonder, 'Why can't I cry?' for several reasons. First, you should understand that you are not alone and, in most cases, there's nothing to worry about. There are physical, emotional, and psychiatric reasons why crying may be affected.

Here are some common reasons why people find themselves unable to cry.

Medical Conditions

Certain medical conditions simply make it physically difficult or impossible for you to shed tears. Conditions like dry eye syndrome physically impact the production or release of tears from your tear ducts.

Dry eye syndrome, known as keratoconjunctivitis sicca, is characterized by poor tear production. It is more common in people who wear contact lenses but can also be linked to pregnancy, hormone changes, age, rheumatoid arthritis, eyelid inflammation, diabetes, and thyroid problems.

Medications

Being on certain medications can reduce or stop your ability to produce tears. One study showed that 46% of people who use antidepressants experience blunted emotions. These medications can help relieve symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other conditions, but they can also sometimes affect how people experience and express emotions.

Case reports suggest that selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), in particular, are associated with this inability to cry when sad, highlighting the role of the serotonergic system in expressing emotions.

Certain other medications may affect tear production and contribute to dry eyes. Medications that can impact tear production include:

  • Antihistamines
  • Decongestants
  • Anti-Parkinson's drugs
  • Antipsychotics
  • Antispasmodics
  • Beta blockers
  • Diuretics
  • Hormonal therapies
  • Anticancer drugs
  • Proton pump inhibitors
  • Isotretinoin
  • Aspirin and ibuprofen
  • Hydrocodone and oxycodone

Other substances, including alcohol and cannabis, can lead to dry eyes. Some herbal supplements, including echinacea, kava, and niacin, can contribute to dry eyes.

Climate

If you once found it easy to cry and are now finding it difficult because you relocated, it might be because you moved to a drier climate. While it's not the most common phenomenon, living in an arid environment may cause your tears to dry up even before you realize it. Your body is also more likely to produce fewer tears.

Windy conditions can also affect the production and evaporation of tears. According to the American Optometric Association, this can lead to the reduction of normal tear production and cause eye dryness, which makes it more difficult to produce tears.

Surgery

If you've had eye surgery, you could experience difficulty crying. Laser-assisted in situ keratomileuses (LASIK) is a surgical procedure used to help people with vision problems improve their eyesight. One of the side effects just after the surgery is dry eye, making it difficult for you to cry.

Mental Health Conditions

While some people might find themselves crying more due to living withmental health conditions like depression and anxiety, others find that they become unable to cry. Conditions such aspost-traumatic stress disorderand major depressive disorder can sometimes cause you to feel muted emotions that might prevent you from crying.

While it might seem like depression would lead to more crying since it can cause feelings of sadness, many people experience feelings of emptiness or apathy. This can affect how a person experiences and expresses their emotions, making crying more difficult.

Depression often causes melancholy, characterized by flat emotions and disinterest in the world. Anhedonia, or a loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities, is another common symptom of depression. Research suggests that people who experience anhedonia also have a more challenging time with emotional expression, including crying.

Emotional Repression and Suppression

People deal with emotions in different ways. While some people have a very expressive style, others are more subdued, repressed, or find it hard to express their feelings, including crying. And some people may intentionally suppress their emotions to avoid revealing what they are feeling.

Frequently withrepressed emotions, you might not even realize you are unconsciously avoiding your feelings, which is why you might be confused by your inability to cry when sad.

Research suggests that suppressing your emotional expression can have adverse health effects. Behaviorally, suppressing emotions can contribute to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Physiologically, it can lead to higher stress levels. Evidence indicates that this emotional suppression increases the risk of an earlier death.

Abuse

Surviving emotional and physical abuse can have a negative impact on the way you process emotions. One of these is learning not to cry, especially in situations where crying has spurred further abuse from abusers in the past. Abuse survivors also sometimes experience numbed or muted emotions.

People who experience abuse and trauma may use emotional numbing as a way to disconnect from pain and distress. While this can provide temporary relief, it can make it difficult for people to connect with what they are feeling, which can make it difficult to cry.

Societal Expectations

Certain societal and cultural standards sometimes ascribe shame to crying. Gender stereotypes can also play a role here. Hearing statements like "boys shouldn't cry" or "crying is a sign of weakness" often makes boys grow up thinking that it's wrong to cry.

The Dangerous Effects of Toxic Masculinity

Why We Need to Cry

Crying is a healthy way to express your emotions, and can help you feel a sense of relief in stressful, sad, or anxious situations. Crying also has a myriad of physical and psychological benefits. Some of them include:

  • Pain relief: If you are in emotional or physical pain, crying can help you feel some relief from your pain. When you cry, your body releases hormones such as endorphin and oxytocin that help reduce pain.
  • Communication: Tears can sometimes help people understand what you are feeling when expressing your emotions. Tears are an early way we learn to communicate distress to those around us. Crying can gain social support from friends and family who will respond to your expression of emotion with empathy and concern.
  • Social connection: In addition to communicating your emotions, they can also serve as a way to connect with others. One study found that people who struggle to cry also reported less connection with others and reduced empathy. They were also more likely to exhibit a more avoidant attachment style.
  • Cleanse your eyes: Tears can help give your eyes a good cleanse when you are most in need of it.A lack of tears can lead to damage to the eye's cornea and damage to vision.
  • Mood booster: While it sounds counterintuitive, crying can sometimes help boost your mood. After a good cry, you may be likely to feel more relaxed and in a better mood.

How Accepting Emotions Can Improve Emotional Health

How to Cry If You Want to

Being unable to cry isn't necessarily a problem. Some people have honed healthy ways to feel and process emotions of sadness without crying. However, if you are concerned about your inability to cry and are looking for ways to fix that, here are a couple of tips to consider:

Find a Safe Space

Sometimes, you might not be crying because you don't feel like you've found a safe enough space for it. This can be any place where you feel comfortable and free to be your authentic self free from fear, stigma, and judgment.

For starters, you can consider crying alone or finding a private place to cry when you feel the emotions rising.

Consider Therapy

You might often not cry because you lack the tools to handle your emotions properly.Therapy can help with this.A therapist can guide you as you explore and learn about your feelings and emotional defenses that may inhibit your ability to cry more freely.

By working with a therapist, people can become more mindful and aware of their emotions. In addition to becoming more in tune with their feelings, a therapist can help people learn skills that will help them tolerate emotional distress rather than trying to repress or suppress it.

Therapy can also be a powerful tool for improving emotional regulation, which can help people better understand and manage their emotional experiences.

Lean On Your Support System

Sometimes, you might not cry because you keep your emotions bottled up and do not share them with your support system. Confiding in loved ones about your emotional struggles may allow you to feel less alone and better able to share your emotions and tears.

Research has found that when people feel that others have helped and supported them, they tend to feel better after they cried.

Why Vulnerability in Relationships Is So Important

A Word From Verywell

Crying is a natural expression of emotion that might not come easily to everyone. If it doesn't come easily to you, that doesn't mean you don't have emotions or are not healthily expressing them. Many reasons beyond your control could make it difficult to cry. However, if you feel there is something getting in the way of necessary tears, it may be time to reach out to a mental health professional.

Why Can't I Cry Even Though I'm Sad? (2024)

FAQs

Why Can't I Cry Even Though I'm Sad? ›

Crying is a natural reaction to stressors, pain, and sadness, but sometimes people cannot cry. This may be due to medical or mental health reasons. Medical conditions can dry out a person's eyes, as can certain medications and dry climates. Others may suppress their emotions or feel nothing due to depression.

How to cry when you can't cry anymore? ›

Lena Suarez-Angelino, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and founder of LIGHT Collective and Co.
  1. 10 Ways To Make Yourself Cry.
  2. Avoid Blinking. One of the easiest ways to make yourself cry is by not blinking. ...
  3. Engage In Breathwork. ...
  4. Go For A Walk. ...
  5. Listen To Music. ...
  6. Move Your Body. ...
  7. Read Or Watch Something Sad. ...
  8. Take A Shower.
May 7, 2024

Why is it hard for you to cry? ›

One reason why people can't cry is emotional numbing. This is a common symptom of conditions like depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). For those with depression, emotional numbing can look like: A loss of interest in people and activities.

Is it possible to not cry enough? ›

No matter the reason, we all have different needs around showing emotion. Some people do not feel like they need to cry, and this is okay. Remember that there is no right or wrong way to show emotion, and crying is not necessarily essential for everyone.

What happens if you don't cry? ›

"If you suppress or don't allow emotional release through crying, you're more likely to feel sad, hopeless, or isolate yourself completely," says Dr. Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, a psychiatrist in private practice.

Is it unhealthy to not cry for years? ›

Not crying is not inherently unhealthy or a problem, but it can be a sign of a medical condition or mental health condition.

How do I get myself to cry? ›

Let yourself be moved

This might not always work, but watching a tearjerker or listening to moving or sad music can sometimes bring on the tears. If you want to practice crying, watching or hearing another person's emotional experience can foster comfort with shedding some tears of your own.

Why is my body not letting me cry? ›

Crying is a natural reaction to stressors, pain, and sadness, but sometimes people cannot cry. This may be due to medical or mental health reasons. Medical conditions can dry out a person's eyes, as can certain medications and dry climates. Others may suppress their emotions or feel nothing due to depression.

Is it weird if you can't cry? ›

Crying is a natural expression of emotion that might not come easily to everyone. If it doesn't come easily to you, that doesn't mean you don't have emotions or are not healthily expressing them. Many reasons beyond your control could make it difficult to cry.

Why can't I cry fully? ›

The inability to cry can have numerous possible causes. Antidepressants, depression, trauma, personality factors, social stigma, and certain medical conditions can all inhibit us from tearing up. Fortunately, many of the reasons we can't cry can be successfully treated and reversed.

Is it unhealthy if you don't cry? ›

Factors, like stigmas and early life experiences, can lead to difficulty with crying. But alternatives are available to help you release your emotions. Crying can be a healthy emotional outlet, encouraging closeness, empathy, and support from family and friends. But there's nothing inherently wrong if you don't cry.

How to fake cry? ›

Many times when you cry for real, you'll start double breathing or hyperventilating because of stress. To simulate crying, recreate the effect of hyperventilation by taking rapid, shallow breaths. Not only will add to your believability, but it will help your body make tears. To calm down, start taking deeper breaths.

Is it healthy to try not to cry? ›

Today's psychological thought largely concurs, emphasizing the role of crying as a mechanism that allows us to release stress and emotional pain. Crying is an important safety valve, largely because keeping difficult feelings inside — what psychologists call repressive coping — can be bad for our health.

Is it bad to cry silently? ›

Crying silently and bottling up the emotions is not good. Let it out when you feel like crying, laugh hard when you feel like laughing, walk alone when you feel like it, clap your hands when you feel like it, do what makes you express yourself. Humans should express themselves, both positive and negative emotions.

Is it better to cry or not to cry? ›

And it turns out that letting your emotions flow out of your eyeballs can be cathartic — that is, expressing strong emotions can bring on some good, positive vibes. A good cry can reduce stress, bond you more closely with others and reduce physical pain.

How to hold back tears? ›

7 Ways to Stop Crying (or at Least Avoid or Delay It)
  1. Take a Deep Breath. ...
  2. Use Your Tongue, Your Eyebrows, or Your Muscles. ...
  3. Take a Break and Get Away From the Situation. ...
  4. Stop the Thoughts That Are Making You Cry (This'll Take Some Practice) ...
  5. Pretend You're an Actor in a Movie.

What does it mean when you can no longer cry? ›

' Feeling like you can't cry can stem from factors including depression, personality, medications, medical conditions, trauma, and social expectations.

Is there a point where you can't cry anymore? ›

Sometimes the inability to cry can be a symptom of depression, referred to as “anhedonia”. Anhedonia isn't about an absence of emotions, but rather a disconnect from them. Imagine it's a beautiful morning, the sun's shining, the birds are singing and there's a gentle, refreshing breeze in the air.

Why can't i let out a cry? ›

There are many reasons why you might struggle to shed a tear or two. It might be because of a physical ailment but, more often than not, an inability to cry says a lot about our emotional state, our beliefs and prejudices about crying, or our past experiences and trauma.

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